Changing the Narrative: Part 2 of "A Middle Finger for Negativity"
Alright, so if you read my last post, “A Middle Finger for Negativity,” you’ve either gone about your life normally after reading, or perhaps you found it intriguing, and decided to join in. Maybe you’re a self-starter and jumped right in with some of your own ideas, but others might be asking, “now what?”
There are a couple parts to answer that question. Those self-starters may have just gone zero to sixty and never looked back. For some of us it’s not quite that simple. This plays into where I mentioned previously about banding together and helping each other out. For me, it was a mix of both having some of my own ideas and needing support and accountability along the way.
I started simply by forcing some “quiet time” into my life. I started going off the grid for a short period and quit initiating text messages or outside conversations that were not pressing. I did this mostly just to gather my thoughts and get my bearings while I focused in on my main goals. Doing this allowed me some extra time to think. Typically, I would have been stuck with my face in my phone, texting all the people close to me with very little down time for myself.
The next thing was that I had to stop clicking every eye-catching link on social media. Most of the posts I would click on ended up carrying some political bias or agenda. I’ve been inundated with such information so frequently that I just had to stop for my own sanity. I quit clicking on links unless I felt that they could be a completely healthy outlet for me.
I have heard a lot of people leaving social media altogether. Some social media has been hugely positive for me throughout time, and a direct connection with people that I may not have contact with otherwise. In my particular case, I could not justify getting rid of it completely.
Some people may need to go cold turkey and get rid of social media to accomplish this, but I had to find ways to blur the lines and locate a different path that made sense for me. Another option is to delete just the apps and not the actual accounts. This is something that my partner has done with Facebook and it has seemed pretty successful for him.
The biggest thing for me has been that figurative “middle finger.” If I run into negative conversation, I just politely and quietly excuse myself from the conversation and move along. You have to do what is best for you. Those types of conversations can be highly toxic for your mood, and plant deep roots that are hard to get rid of. I’ve had to try really hard to avoid speaking on negative topics, and catch myself from time to time engaging in them or even being the starter of these conversations. This may be very difficult to stop and doesn’t happen overnight.
Another difficult aspect for me has been knowing when something is affecting me negatively, and making the cognizant decision within that moment to divert my focus onto something else.
Finding positive outlets that allow you to relax or engage in something productive for your life may be a great option. I have been spending a lot of time in the gym recently which has been quite helpful. It is a great stress reliever, gives me more energy, and helps my mood substantially. I also committed to going on a weekly hike for the remainder of the hiking season. Getting outdoors and spending that time with great people has been amazing for me.
Engaging in positive hobbies and activities can help quiet some of the negative noise and provide some solace for you. If you are struggling, try filling your time with some tried and true activities for yourself, or better yet, take the opportunity to force yourself into trying something completely new. Staying active can be highly beneficial, but even just sitting down to write or read a good book can help you refocus and get your mind on the right track.
If your job allows it, take a mental health day. Listen to your body and your mind, and try to follow what it is telling you that you need. If you are having trouble still, reach out to a friend and see what recommendations they might have. If you’re striking out there, visit my contact page and reach out to me. I am happy to try and provide ideas and support as I’m able to.
I am still in the process of making all this work for myself and it has certainly been an up and down battle that I have yet to fully master. I’m also always open to more suggestions since I have yet to perfect a way of blocking out all of the negativity.
What I do know, is that as you progress, things start to get better little by little. Below is a quick list of things that I have found to be helpful:
Reading
Writing
Meditation (I use guided meditation through the Headspace app)
Running, hiking & working out
Avoiding news & negative aspects of social media
Talk therapy (Ideally with a licensed therapist)
Take a day trip to explore the mountains & drive
Keep a healthy diet
Avoid frequent & excessive alcohol consumption
Surround yourself with positive people
This is a small and simple list with some ideas just to get you started. You may have other or better ideas, and if so, do what you know is going to impact you in the best ways.
Let’s try and make the remainder of 2020 something that will end with a less negative narrative. Keep in mind that the Jumanji movies had relatively happy endings, and I think 2020 can be the same way… so stop worrying about the next 2020 Jumanji level, clear your head, have a good laugh, work your ass off, and let's make something great happen.
Still with much love left to give,
Logan August